Blare and Stare

Just felt the need to let out some steam...

Situation: Im in a taxi, having eaten an orange for breakfast, desperately looking out of the window for a dustbin to dump the peels.

Taxi driver: Pulls over after 4 kms, having sighted a bin (Whats the point in having Shah Rukh ads about cleanliness next to godliness and treat the streets as your own home when you cant find a goddamn dustbin)

Me: Getting off the taxi to throw the peels.

Rich man in big car: Stops his car the size of a damn ship behind the taxi and blares the horn non-stop till I jump out of my skin and then run into the taxi.

Taxidriver: Chewing his paan and doesn't really care about the noise pollution or anything for that matter.

Rich man in big car: Overtakes taxi with this air or arrogance, still honking. Then, turns around to give this 'Bollywood-villian' deeeeeeep stare. This particular stare signifies "Im the king cause I drive something more bling" and "I dont care... the horn will blares... I will stare... you cant say anything, you wouldn't dare"

Me: Disgusted. Almost deaf. Sick of honking.

I cant believe I am saying this....

Ive been away from India for 6 months almost and I miss the honking! Only missing home can do this to you. I would love to wake up one day to the ridiculous honking of Pali mala road.

Honking Allowance or Horn Quota

Was thinking of approaching the traffic police and writing a petition to the Automobile association of India (maybe thats not even an organisation) about a concept called Honking Allowance. And for the benefit of the masses, it shall be called Horn Quota.

Basically, every vehicle that is manufactured henceforth, would have a honking tracking device, which would disable the horn after the driver has used it 30 times. 30 is a generous allowance - 1 honk per day. After the horn gets disabled, the driver can use it only the next month. Basically, that would have 1st of every month unbearable and the rest of the month potentially no honking days.

For vehicles that already exist, a honking quota certificate needs to be issued from the nearest petrol pump. Like you have a PUC for pollution, why not a HUC (honking under control) for noise pollution.

If any of you think there is merit in this idea, do get in touch with me through comments and lets get started on this proposal.

Honking is not a substitute for the doorbell or the cellphone

A newly discovered pain area... Honking outside my building..

Guys come and honk outside my building as a signal to draw the attention of a 2nd floor resident.
Well... have you heard of parking the car and walking two flights up and ringing the door bell. If thats difficult, how about calling the person using a mobile phone.

I am planning to keep egg's or buckets of water next to my window sill. One of these 2 things shall fly down towards the car, the next time I hear a 'paan paan pa pa paan'.
`

Why did I start this blog...

Well... here are some of the reasons why I started this blog..

I cant keep the windows in my living room, kitchen or bedroom open and I am forced to live in recirculated air all day long, because opening the window makes me feel like I am living in a traffic signal.

Even before I reach office (a huge reason for stress), I am stressed beyond belief with just the 10 minute commute...

The first thing I tell an auto driver when I get into the auto is "Bhaiya... horn mat kijiye... aaram se chaliye... koi jaldi nahin"..

My friends tell me that very soon, every auto-rickshaw in India will have a small photograph of mine instead of the horn out of fear..

I land up taking a minimum of 2 autos when I have a 30 minute ride as no auto lasts for more than 15 minutes with my lecture on honking...

I really have felt the strong urge to take out a gun and shoot many people on the road... especially those driving really expensive cars (which look like they are sound proof on the inside) honking away to glory, not realising that those outside can actually hear...

I started noting down the license numbers of those who honk everyday on the way to work.. I had this crazy idea of starting a website to track these vehicles down and fining them... or even better, putting them through one of my lectures on honking..

Ive traveled and seen places where honking is considered rude and people follow traffic rules... and I just dont understand why people here just dont get it..

I am sick of meeting Firangs who are constantly referring to India as the Land of Honking Vehicles...

I practice what I preach.. I never ever ever honk....

So.. spread the word... tell people to leave 10 minutes early whenever they are driving instead of honking their way through traffic.. tell them to be more patient.. tell them that honking is rude... tell them they may be deaf very soon.... tell them whatever you feel but ensure they dont honk!