Just felt the need to let out some steam...
Situation: Im in a taxi, having eaten an orange for breakfast, desperately looking out of the window for a dustbin to dump the peels.
Taxi driver: Pulls over after 4 kms, having sighted a bin (Whats the point in having Shah Rukh ads about cleanliness next to godliness and treat the streets as your own home when you cant find a goddamn dustbin)
Me: Getting off the taxi to throw the peels.
Rich man in big car: Stops his car the size of a damn ship behind the taxi and blares the horn non-stop till I jump out of my skin and then run into the taxi.
Taxidriver: Chewing his paan and doesn't really care about the noise pollution or anything for that matter.
Rich man in big car: Overtakes taxi with this air or arrogance, still honking. Then, turns around to give this 'Bollywood-villian' deeeeeeep stare. This particular stare signifies "Im the king cause I drive something more bling" and "I dont care... the horn will blares... I will stare... you cant say anything, you wouldn't dare"
Me: Disgusted. Almost deaf. Sick of honking.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Six months on the road
Koushik Udayashankar's spent six months without using a horn -- yes, it is possible:
I finished work one evening and hopped onto Vroomie (my best girl) [yes, he really has named his Thunderbird Vroomie, we still love you, anyway, UK] to get home. An idiot got in my way -- one of those always always seem to. Of course, I honked at him, loudly and vigorously. Except that all I got was a wheeze. I wondered about it but kept driving. I soon got home and all was forgotten.
The next morning, another idiot almost run over - again, there was just silence when I tried to honk at the fool who’d tried to send me to jail. I was officially worried now, and got off to find Vroomie looking a tad pale. My horn was hanging by a wire and it looked like someone had nicked it while it was parked. Grrrr.
There began my quest to see if I could survive the madness of our roads without a horn. And it has been six months. Six glorious months of no blaring horns from Vroomie, not even a squeak. I still press the button when I need to honk and the silence is so much louder. My dependence on the pass light has increased and I am quite amazed that people seem to respect it more. It lets me pass while people wait, it lets me overtake from the right, it lets me overtake from the left, it even screams idiot when someone gets in my way. Silence, I guess, is sometimes so much louder than words.
Even better, I am a more careful rider now. Not having a horn comes with added responsibility; with the knowledge that the guy in front cannot see or hear you, that the old lady crossing the road probably can't hear you anyway.
I am certainly not proposing that we go around breaking horns off people's bikes. The challenge of not using a horn is certainly fun and it would do world-stress a huge favour but responsibility comes at a cost - the cost of peaceful motoring - something that isn't for the weak hearted.
[SmalNote: Give not honking a shot -- just for today]
I finished work one evening and hopped onto Vroomie (my best girl) [yes, he really has named his Thunderbird Vroomie, we still love you, anyway, UK] to get home. An idiot got in my way -- one of those always always seem to. Of course, I honked at him, loudly and vigorously. Except that all I got was a wheeze. I wondered about it but kept driving. I soon got home and all was forgotten.
The next morning, another idiot almost run over - again, there was just silence when I tried to honk at the fool who’d tried to send me to jail. I was officially worried now, and got off to find Vroomie looking a tad pale. My horn was hanging by a wire and it looked like someone had nicked it while it was parked. Grrrr.
There began my quest to see if I could survive the madness of our roads without a horn. And it has been six months. Six glorious months of no blaring horns from Vroomie, not even a squeak. I still press the button when I need to honk and the silence is so much louder. My dependence on the pass light has increased and I am quite amazed that people seem to respect it more. It lets me pass while people wait, it lets me overtake from the right, it lets me overtake from the left, it even screams idiot when someone gets in my way. Silence, I guess, is sometimes so much louder than words.
Even better, I am a more careful rider now. Not having a horn comes with added responsibility; with the knowledge that the guy in front cannot see or hear you, that the old lady crossing the road probably can't hear you anyway.
I am certainly not proposing that we go around breaking horns off people's bikes. The challenge of not using a horn is certainly fun and it would do world-stress a huge favour but responsibility comes at a cost - the cost of peaceful motoring - something that isn't for the weak hearted.
[SmalNote: Give not honking a shot -- just for today]
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I cant believe I am saying this....
Ive been away from India for 6 months almost and I miss the honking! Only missing home can do this to you. I would love to wake up one day to the ridiculous honking of Pali mala road.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Who owes who?
This morning, I came up with a unique way to address the honking issue of auto drivers. I took an auto from Pali naka to Bandra reclamation - Those not aware of the distance - Its hardly 1.5 kms. This ride takes around 5 minutes without traffic and 10 with traffic. On reaching my destination, I told the guy looks at me and tells me - "Atara" (18 Rs). In return, I told him - "Appko paanch rupaya mujhe dena padega - Kyunki aapne Theyees (23) baar horn mara aur har baar jab horn maarte ho, uske liye 1 rupaya aapko dena padega".
The guy was zapped completely.. But, I think he got the point. After a few seconds, giving him time to recover from the shock, I paid him 18 Rs. and left. But, i think this would have created a good impact.
The guy was zapped completely.. But, I think he got the point. After a few seconds, giving him time to recover from the shock, I paid him 18 Rs. and left. But, i think this would have created a good impact.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
New signage in Bombay
Just noticed a car in Bombay with a sign "Honk if you love Jesus". Christ - Who the hell makes these stickers?
Monday, June 23, 2008
Honking Allowance or Horn Quota
Was thinking of approaching the traffic police and writing a petition to the Automobile association of India (maybe thats not even an organisation) about a concept called Honking Allowance. And for the benefit of the masses, it shall be called Horn Quota.
Basically, every vehicle that is manufactured henceforth, would have a honking tracking device, which would disable the horn after the driver has used it 30 times. 30 is a generous allowance - 1 honk per day. After the horn gets disabled, the driver can use it only the next month. Basically, that would have 1st of every month unbearable and the rest of the month potentially no honking days.
For vehicles that already exist, a honking quota certificate needs to be issued from the nearest petrol pump. Like you have a PUC for pollution, why not a HUC (honking under control) for noise pollution.
If any of you think there is merit in this idea, do get in touch with me through comments and lets get started on this proposal.
Basically, every vehicle that is manufactured henceforth, would have a honking tracking device, which would disable the horn after the driver has used it 30 times. 30 is a generous allowance - 1 honk per day. After the horn gets disabled, the driver can use it only the next month. Basically, that would have 1st of every month unbearable and the rest of the month potentially no honking days.
For vehicles that already exist, a honking quota certificate needs to be issued from the nearest petrol pump. Like you have a PUC for pollution, why not a HUC (honking under control) for noise pollution.
If any of you think there is merit in this idea, do get in touch with me through comments and lets get started on this proposal.
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